1 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,294 Can you not? 2 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:23,484 I'm surprising someone in London... 3 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:35,173 * Someone needs an orgasm. * 4 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,918 Stop being anal, Kate. It's just a party. 5 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,198 - Please. - No. - Yes. - No. 6 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,238 - Yes! - No! - It's my birthday. 7 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,518 We are not allowed parties. 8 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,318 We will get kicked out. 9 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:04,318 All right, how is not wanting to be homeless anal? 10 00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:07,078 Just a small little gathering. You can invite Jessica for my sex. 11 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,318 I don't want work people seeing where I live, thanks. 12 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,758 They'll think I'm a squatter. 13 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,078 Look, the whole point of living in a disused hospital 14 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,598 is to get a girl on a slab. 15 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,478 No, Sam, it's to save money for a deposit on an actual house. 16 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:19,518 Oh, yeah, as if that's what we're all doing here. 17 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:20,758 Come on, Kate. 18 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,438 I'll go down on you. 19 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,238 Don't go down on my fiance. The pigeon's in the shower again. 20 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:28,198 - It's nice to know he's looking after himself. - Just throw it over him. 21 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,518 - It's not moving and it's looking right at me. - I'll go. 22 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,718 Oh, my God! I'm going to have to say it. 23 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,198 He's going to say something terrible. 24 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,958 It's my first birthday since my dad died. 25 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,798 There, said it. 26 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,798 - What's this? - He wants a party. 27 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,998 No-one should have to go around carrying this much grief 28 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,918 and this much semen. 29 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,678 Something bad is bound to happen. 30 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,078 You're unbelievable. I'm an orphan. 31 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,278 - You have a mum. - She lives south of the river. 32 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,147 Compliment her again and she'll do it. 33 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,878 You've got really fit hair. 34 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,598 I'm going to be late. 35 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,638 - We're organising a massive treasure hunt today for a shoe shop. - Mm. 36 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,758 - Maybe we could do something like that. - Oh, you're an angel! 37 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:12,718 - The pigeon puffs up when it's angry. - I know, baby. - You're my hero. 38 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:16,720 Er, Melody, when you want me, I am all yours. 39 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,918 Come on, one poke. Melody, what have I got to do? 40 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:23,078 - Really? - Yeah. - Drug me. - Wow. 41 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:27,080 - And then never tell me. - Wow. Really? - Yeah. 42 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,958 'Ladies and gentlemen, this bus will be terminating 43 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,238 'at London Victoria in approximately 15 minutes.' 44 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,158 What the fuck?! 45 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:03,080 - This place is amazing. - I know, it's brilliant. Thanks for taking me. 46 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,718 Forgive me, Kate. 47 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,238 It appears you live in a hospital. 48 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,240 Please don't tell anyone at work. I'm not a squatter, OK? I do pay. 49 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,520 Me and Anthony are just saving for the wedding and... 50 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,078 - I'm just not a squatter. - No, no. 51 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,078 Congratulations, by the way. 52 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,038 He cooks a mean curry. 53 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,478 Oh! Thanks! 54 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,118 I still get coy when he takes his shirt off. 55 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,358 What was your wedding like? 56 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,718 Where are you staying while your divorce wraps up? 57 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,638 Um... 58 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,598 Still on the sofa. Cara's moved him in now. 59 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,678 It's, er, a little awkward in the mornings, 60 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,680 but they're usually in bed by the time I get back, 61 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,518 which is a small mercy, I suppose. 62 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,520 Oh, God, Colin! There's a spare ward going here if you need the space. 63 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,238 Thank you. I'll think about it. 64 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,238 Melody! 65 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,918 This is Crying Colin from work... 66 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,838 Colin from work. 67 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:30,438 He's thinking about moving into the spare ward. 68 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,998 - Are you poor? - Um, no. Just... 69 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,318 Lonely? 70 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:38,320 - Well, I'm going through a divorce. - So both. 71 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,638 I suppose so, yes. 72 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,478 Do you enjoy living here? 73 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,878 Well, you're not allowed to have parties, cook meals, 74 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,880 light candles, have sex, express emotion, claim any rights, 75 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,798 argue if they want to throw you out with only two days' notice, 76 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,800 or smoke. 77 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,718 It's a riot. 78 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:05,720 Gosh. 79 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,758 Happy birthday, dude. 80 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,678 Ahh! 81 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,598 Mmm! Stop. 82 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:16,896 Stop it! 83 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,644 Stop it. 84 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,838 OK, OK, everybody, everybody! 85 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,878 Line up for the treasure hunt. 86 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,678 There are clues on every floor of the hospital. 87 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,158 Do not change your partner once you've been allocated one, OK? 88 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,958 - It's going to be... - Anal! - ..super fun. 89 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,878 Right. Purnima and... 90 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,598 - Sam! - ..Harry. 91 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,838 - Jessica, Jessica, Jessica... - Jessica and... 92 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,358 Sam! 93 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,278 ...that unbelievably hot guy. 94 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:05,998 What? Who even is that? Who brought that? 95 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,798 Kate, mate, digging the squat. 96 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,678 It's not a squat. 97 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,918 - Melody and... - Sam! 98 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,958 ...Colin. 99 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,158 Anthony... 100 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,238 and... 101 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,678 - Lulu? - ..me! 102 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,558 No fucking way! 103 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,558 Oh, my God! 104 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,438 Oh, my God! What are you doing here? Look at your stupid face. 105 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,238 Oh, my God, don't say anything! 106 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,038 Oh, my God, you have to meet Kate! 107 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:36,678 Kate, this is... This is Lulu. 108 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,278 - My Lulu. - Wow! Lulu! 109 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:43,280 - Lulu! Oh, it's so great to finally meet you. - You, too. 110 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,718 Is that a ukulele? Wow, quirky! 111 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,158 Yeah, thanks. I try really hard. 112 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,078 You must be the brilliant Kate. 113 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,678 My God! 114 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,118 - Ohh! - Wow, you are gorgeous. 115 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,198 What are you doing with this shitbag? 116 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,358 Oh, just... You know, just... 117 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,478 Just... 118 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,958 - She totally loves me. - No, I don't! 119 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,638 - You don't? - No, I do. 120 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,198 A lot. I love him so much, I could die. 121 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,278 - Mwah! - So you're here! Yeah! 122 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,158 Fucking look at you! I've missed you so much. 123 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,958 Hey! Sugar-tits. 124 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,478 OK, no, don't speak to him. I grew up with her. 125 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,918 She is Red Zone. She's basically my sister. 126 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,478 You guys look really similar. 127 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,438 - Yeah, I guess we... - No, I don't think so. 128 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:34,198 - So, I'm Sam and I am amazing. - He's a pervert. 129 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,958 This is Melody. She's a hot frog. 130 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,398 - She's a teacher. - I'm an artist. 131 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,718 And you've met Kate. She's really anal. 132 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,438 I am not anal. 133 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,678 - Do you all live here? - We're not friends. We just share a floor. 134 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,358 - What are you doing here? - Oh, I dunno. 135 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,398 I've just got to find somewhere to live 136 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,118 and then I'm just going to be completely on top of this one. 137 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,918 - Can I dump my stuff? - Sure, yeah. I'll show you round the wards. 138 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,920 - I'm about to start the treasure hunt. - We'll just be a couple of secs. 139 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,398 "Sex"! 140 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,478 OK, OK. 141 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,718 Sam and... 142 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,038 Fred. 143 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,278 - Fred? Who's she? - HE lives with us, you moron. 144 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,518 Hi. 145 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,118 Ohh... Oh, Jesus. 146 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:23,120 Josh and Vicky. 147 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:26,038 OK, babycakes, your penis is a bit of a problem for me. 148 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,278 We're going to have to forget that exists while we do this, capisce? 149 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,358 - Capisce. - That's my girl. 150 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,718 OK, everybody, let the... 151 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,720 Let the treasure hunt commence! 152 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,678 What are you doing here, Lu? 153 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:47,680 - Ah, I missed you. - Yeah, and...? 154 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:51,318 Steven kicked me out, so I left town, did a bit of travelling. 155 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:52,518 What? Where did you go? 156 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,558 Mainly the Midlands, but I spent a bit of time in Bristol, 157 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:56,798 which was really intense. 158 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,678 Out the way, out the way. 159 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,558 Hey, Lulu-licious, do you want to, er, swap partners? 160 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:03,598 No way. You two are perfect for each other. 161 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:07,600 - Ooh, you're cheeky. I like that. - Red Zone? 162 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,438 - He's hot. - No, he's not. 163 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:14,598 So, this is new. 164 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,958 Yeah, it's my uku-Lulu. 165 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,478 Can you play? 166 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:22,318 * Even though I know I'm not a lesbian for sure 167 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,638 * I sometimes look up lesbian porn 168 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,533 * And it really, really, really gets me off. * 169 00:09:28,572 --> 00:09:30,410 Yes! 170 00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:33,318 Er, homeless people. 171 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,998 * I sometimes feel bad if they have scabs on their faces... * 172 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,878 - Oh! - What? - I think my tampon just came out a bit. 173 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,798 Er, can I do anything? 174 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,838 - Yeah, actually, if you could just... - Wow, OK. 175 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:48,198 - I was joking! - Thank God! - What were you going to do? 176 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,598 - Help you. I don't know! Eugh. - Hey... 177 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:54,600 You would love my vagina. 178 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,838 She really went for it. Wow! 179 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,358 - Boom. Big one. Lift me, princess. - OK! 180 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:04,360 Brilliant. This is so much fun. 181 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,278 Hey, we have actually met before, 182 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,918 in the laundry room when you were stealing that girl's... - Oh, shit-fit. 183 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,920 "The envelopes on the ceiling all contain X-rays with the letters of the alphabet hidden in them. 184 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,398 "Find all the letters and they will make up the name of the room the prize is in." 185 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,038 She is so fucking anal. I love her. Let's go. 186 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:23,798 - Vault me, vault me! - Yes, I will! 187 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:27,198 Ah! 188 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,598 W! 189 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,740 - Vault me again, vault me again. - Yeah! 190 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,758 So I guess go for it. 191 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,760 - Could I just double check the clue? - No. 192 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,958 She wouldn't have hidden anything in a toilet. 193 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,198 She's not that kind of person. Trust me, I work for her. 194 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,838 Let her surprise you. 195 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,198 It's the most attractive thing a person can do. 196 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:58,200 So rare to be surprised. 197 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,398 Oh, God. Oh, putain. I can't believe you just did that! 198 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,158 Neither can I. 199 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:11,160 I can't feel a clue. 200 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,760 Found it. 201 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,638 The main rule about truth songs is just to sing with abandon. 202 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,478 Just let go of whatever you're afraid of admitting to yourself. 203 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,838 Yeah, I really get it. 204 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,840 I really get how it's about being who you need to want to be, 205 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,878 in a world where needing to be someone 206 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,278 is more about being who you think you need to be, 207 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:44,280 when really, what we all just need to do is sing... 208 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,598 man. 209 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,238 - You're taking the piss. - I'm taking the piss, yeah. - Wow! 210 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,038 You really can't drop it, can you? 211 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:54,198 - You really can't take a joke, can you? - Look at you. 212 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,678 - You get so edgy. - I get...? 213 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,398 Shouldn't you be rubbing up against someone downstairs by now? 214 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:02,400 - Say one thing sincerely, I dare you. - You flirt with me too much. 215 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:07,958 I'm afraid you have to sing it, or it doesn't count. 216 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,918 - I'll play. - No. 217 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,118 You sing, I'll play. 218 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:19,360 Do you really think I flirt with you too much? 219 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,758 Do you wish I didn't? 220 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,478 - Hey! - Hi. - Hey. - What are you doing? 221 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,798 We're just having a singsong. Come join us. 222 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,198 Oh! No. 223 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,718 Singing's not really my thing. 224 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,878 Sorry, baby, we're just catching up. 225 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,880 Yeah, no, you haven't seen each other for ages. 226 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,998 Hey, it's all getting a bit heated between Jess... 227 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,678 And that unbelievably hot guy. 228 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:53,680 - His name is... - Don't ruin it. 229 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,518 Come on, we've missed enough of this brilliant treasure-hunt bonanza. 230 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,318 - Who's my partner, baby? - No! 231 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,478 Stay. Catch up. 232 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,478 It's fine. Too many people anyway. 233 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,800 Hm! 234 00:13:10,712 --> 00:13:12,985 Push harder! Push harder! 235 00:13:13,149 --> 00:13:17,422 Mate, you smell like lychees. D'you eat a lot of lychees? 236 00:13:17,443 --> 00:13:19,146 Stop making me laugh! 237 00:13:19,161 --> 00:13:21,078 Oh, what the fuck?! 238 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,700 Heeey! Wow, you two look cosy. 239 00:13:23,708 --> 00:13:25,544 I was going to fuck you. 240 00:13:25,568 --> 00:13:26,747 Excuse me?! 241 00:13:26,763 --> 00:13:32,488 I was... going... to... fuck... you. 242 00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:35,053 Oh shit! 243 00:13:35,538 --> 00:13:38,038 Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry, 244 00:13:38,061 --> 00:13:42,400 I guess in that case I should, I should probably... 245 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,038 You OK? 246 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,078 Stop trying to bum me! 247 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,838 - Excuse me?! - Fucking bender! 248 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,358 That is not nice. 249 00:13:56,360 --> 00:14:00,360 Yeah, well neither is being sexually assaulted by a surprise flatmate. 250 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,238 I don't think you're very happy, mate. 251 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,878 - Don't say "mate". - You say "babe". 252 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,398 I'm an estate agent. I'm meant to sound like a twat. 253 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,400 What's your excuse? 254 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,798 Won't Kate be wondering what you're doing? 255 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,318 She'll just assume I'm smoking. 256 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,518 Fiver says she sniffs my breath when we go down. 257 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,478 - Supportive(!) - It's OK. I'll say you were my witness. 258 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,038 Fiver says she'll sniff your cock if you tell her that. 259 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:46,040 - God! - Sorry! But she might as well have weed on you down there! 260 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:50,280 Don't, OK? Sometimes you just take it too far, Lulu. 261 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,398 She'd be well within her rights to be paranoid 262 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:54,838 the way you behaved downstairs. 263 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,438 We both know there's nothing between us, but I won't have you 264 00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:01,440 taking the piss out of her, all right? Fuck sake! 265 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,158 I mean, you really, really 266 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,158 fell for that hook, line and sinker. 267 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,078 Oh, my God! You dick! I can't believe you still get me! 268 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:14,080 I'm sorry but your face was hilarious! 269 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,840 Diabetic? That's intense. 270 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,318 - What made you think I was gay? - You are so gay. 271 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,198 You don't know me at all. I know when one jumps on my back. 272 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:32,200 You are so inappropriate! And you told me to do that! 273 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,958 Are you gay? 274 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,960 Are you? 275 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:42,520 You're so gay. 276 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,840 I heard about your Dad. I'm sorry. Yeah. 277 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,678 Mine died too. I was much younger but... 278 00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:00,680 Hurts, yeah. 279 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,238 Yeah. 280 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,478 (Yeah. 281 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:10,480 Yeah. 282 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,840 Right, come on treacle, let's go. Let's win this thing. 283 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,998 Wanking room! How does she know about my wanking room? 284 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,798 - Waiting room? - WAITING ROOM! 285 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:44,800 You are a genius. 286 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,558 I'm sorry I flirt with you too much. 287 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,678 I'm allowed to fancy you though, doesn't count. 288 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,000 Do you though? 289 00:17:02,015 --> 00:17:05,758 Nah. Used to though. You can cling to that. 290 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,118 - What's going on here? - What do you mean? 291 00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:10,678 Now, come on. We have never been more sober in our lives. 292 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,758 I'm trying to be an adult now, OK? 293 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,958 I actually want to know how you feel about me. 294 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,198 I don't care about the shit-storm it could cause. 295 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,438 I don't care about Kate, 296 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,678 I mean, I think she's probably a lesbian anyway. 297 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,358 I just need you to admit you don't just flirt with me for kicks. 298 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,838 OK. Just so I know that I'm not crazy. 299 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:26,998 Fuck off! 300 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,758 Can you drop it please? Just for a second. 301 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:32,760 - You're making me nervous. - Sit down. 302 00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:40,038 Why do you do it? 303 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,198 - Power? - Yeah. 304 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,118 But you would never actually kiss me? 305 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,438 I've been trying since we were 14, baby. 306 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,318 Bullshit. Kiss me, then. 307 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,638 Tease! 308 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,598 Coming from you! 309 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,318 - You kiss me. - You kiss me. 310 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:58,320 - You kiss me. - You kiss me. 311 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,758 Lu, you're kissing me. 312 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,158 I know. 313 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,838 Woah, woah, woah! 314 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,598 You just won't lose, will you?! 315 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,600 - You actually kissed me. - Yeah, that was... 316 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,518 - You don't actually think Kate is a lesbian, do you? - No! 317 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:20,358 OK. Oh, my God. Lu? 318 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,638 - I'm such a dick. - I didn't think in a million years you'd... Lu? Do you? 319 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,958 - It's OK, it's fine, - I know you can't... 320 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,960 You're serious? Lu, I've been in love with you... I'm joking, you dick! 321 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:36,238 Oh right. Course. Touche! Me too. 322 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,838 - Me too. - Me too. 323 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,358 Good. 324 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:45,558 I should probably go and sort this tampon out now. 325 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:49,560 Yeah. Good. 326 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,758 I am not going on a date with you. 327 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,198 - Why not? - You'll eat me alive. 328 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,200 Maybe. You might like it. If we don't try we'll never know. 329 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,478 Don't be a scaredy-cunt. 330 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,598 Oh, that is a horrible word. 331 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,398 That is my favourite word. 332 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:18,400 Say it, cunt, and let's get dinner. 333 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,920 Cunt! Oh, God protect me. 334 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,638 Magnifique. 335 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,558 The prize is in the waiting room! 336 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,198 Shut that pretty mouth, baby. 337 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,200 Let's go. 338 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:44,520 Hey guys! Tequila! 339 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:25,160 I am fun! 340 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,400 Don't be a scaredy-cunt. 341 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,598 I am not anal! 342 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,958 - Baby... - You say I am not anal! 343 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,398 You are not anal. 344 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,478 And don't think I don't know that because I make all the fun, 345 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,480 I can't have any of the fun because I always know where the prize is! 346 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,558 I'm the fun one, OK? 347 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:54,438 In here, it's all crazy crazy in here! 348 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:58,440 Whoo! Look at me! I am out of control! 349 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,358 Woah! 350 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,558 Sorry. I'm a dick. 351 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,560 It's OK. I know it's because you're sad, but we are here. 352 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:13,080 Thank you for my party. Where's the prize? 353 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,718 (It's in the incubator!) 354 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,720 Come here, pumpkin. 355 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:30,040 Yeeaaah! Winner, winner! 356 00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:34,758 Where's my baby gurl? 357 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,038 This is for you! 358 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,798 Argh! Argh! That was horrible! 359 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,238 Head forward, pinch the top. 360 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,158 And who's this guy? 361 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:49,160 - He's mine. - Really?! 362 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,558 Thank you. He's unbelievably hot. See you on Monday. 363 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:02,560 Slut! 364 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:08,640 D'accord. Bon soir. Happy birthday. 365 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:12,638 Happy birthday! I've had such a lovely night. 366 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,998 So nice to hang out with... 367 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,638 If I throw up in my bed, I'm gonna sleep in yours, OK? 368 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:17,878 OK. 369 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,158 - I am going to be sick. - Yeah? 370 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,518 And then I am going to be so anal with you. 371 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:27,358 Whooo! 372 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:28,998 Welcome to the family, Lu. 373 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,518 Oh, yeah, I think I'm just gonna find somewhere else to... 374 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,998 No. No! You are staying here. 375 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:39,000 Because, you are special to him, so you're special on me. 376 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,278 - Yeah, I think it might be weird. - Why would it be weird? 377 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,438 - It wouldn't be weird. - It wouldn't be. 378 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,238 Good! Goooooood. 379 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:54,240 - Thanks, Kate. - Pffffft! I'm chill. 380 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,878 So that's cool that... Yeah, it's gonna be... 381 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:03,880 - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, cool. - Cool. 382 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,558 Why are you being weird? 383 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,718 He calls her my Lulu. 384 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,278 That's so hot. 385 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,198 Which bit do I pick up when it rings? 386 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,398 Sorry, is this a joke? 387 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,078 - Hello, Colin. - Bad! 388 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,558 I think you should live with me. 389 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,358 I think you would like being painted. 390 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:23,838 I'll be generous with your penis. 391 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,278 Hey guys, great work. 392 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,478 Fred, I need to ask you to step outside. 393 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:29,718 Where are we going? 394 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,080 Aaaaargh!